Thursday, February 27, 2014
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
I have been sensing a rumble since I went to Florida for my 50th birthday with my sister this last October. It seems that every time we are together we stir up something, it's a magical energy we generate in each other's presence.
During that time in Florida I told my sister that it was going to be just us two soon as our mother has been so ill and she in turn said that she felts something really drastic was going to happen to me. Then this past Friday our mother passed and it wasn't that much of a surprise as it was the start of the tornado ripping through my life.
When I have vivid dreams I know that something is stirring inside and around me. Especially dreams of tornadoes. The destructive ones, the ones that rip through the lands and over the highways and close to your home. When I dream of tornadoes I see them in the distance sometimes more than one tornado. As I get anxious in my sleep, I realize that I'm sleeping and just dreaming, putting myself to ease, but then I'm in the moment of the dream as if I'm not sleeping(disturbing I know). When the tornadoes get closer and I take cover, I never dream of the tornado hitting where I am however the anticipation of it getting closer is the real thrill in the dream, sending my emotions running in 90 different directions.
The last time I had tornado dreams so vividly my world completely changed, so drastically that I didn't see it coming and it was like full blown destruction. Since my mother's passing I've been having some tornado dreams. Not sure exactly how to put the spin on the meaning behind it yet. Plus the combination of not being able to sleep well hasn't settled to well with me either.
I do know that I have had a nagging feeling in my stomach that tells me something is stirring. There has been a lot of emotion this past week with traveling to Alabama and back, running into family that I've not seen a long time or met at such a horrible time of loss. Plus an old encounter crossed my path, one that put a mark on me 23 years ago that I never put to rest.
One thing that was interesting was I was wearing this necklace that he had given to me 23 years ago when I arrived to my sisters house. We were hanging out talking and she asked me where I got the necklace and I replied from (won't mention his name) and she said, well I just found him on Facebook. Now, let me tell you...I about fell over not only because I had the necklace on but because I had a really strong urge to wear it almost everyday for about the last couple of months and we were just talking about finding him in July when I was visiting. I've been wondering what happened to this man for the past 10 years at least. But have never been able to find him.
We eventually talked on the phone and my heart fell...immediately, my emotions were extremely high and one thing that I sensed from him was a very strong emotion that I couldn't describe. More intense than I've felt from someone at a distance before. We were 2.5 hours apart and it felt like he was right next to me. It was extremely heavy and almost overwhelming.
At first I tried to chalk it up to the over mixed emotions I was feeling from my mother's passing but it wasn't that kind of feeling. It was different. I still can't put my finger on it but it is rumbling way in the background. Slowly approaching and my curiosity has the best of me. I've only had that kind of feeling one other time and it was years ago when something drastic happened to my life. I can remember sitting out on the back patio of my house and the wind was rustling the trees in a mighty stir. I was just sitting there calmly feeling the energy stirring, it was really exhilarating. I knew instantly at that moment something really crazy was getting ready to happen to me and sure enough it did within just a few days.
I have to say that my emotional, misunderstood and exhausted body was hit hard last week. Being emotionally psychic is very draining. A feeling I don't like to welcome to often as it takes a lot out of me. This emotional psychic ability it's called clairsentience, the ability to feel the emotions of other people. Most people who don't understand this ability think that I'm probably off my rocker a bit but it's something I've had to live with for all of my life.
As everyone at the funeral services hugged me and passed on their energy and each person said to me how much I looked just like my mother, it was extremely overwhelming. On top of that I had the emotions I was feeling from the man in my past that was really from left field, pulling and nagging on me like I haven't felt in over 15 years! Emotions I didn't enjoy too much. It was very intense.
So just because I'm gifted with the sixth sense of clairsentience, I have am having a difficult time keeping things in order due to this stir. I guess my tornado is getting ready to rip through and make a mark again and I'm not to sure how to receive it.
Feeling a little Stormy again...
Monday, February 10, 2014
The sound of rain falling is so peaceful a sound I welcome with open arms. The showers that blanket the earth cleanse us with release and bring in new life in different form.
Friday a storm brewed in, just in time to get the news that my beloved Mother passed away. As I took my journey across four states to lay her at peace, I felt the rain fall down the entire drive.
As I approached her road that runs by her house off the highway, the rain fell so hard that I couldn't see. My windows were clear the entire way. But at one moment when I was thinking of her leaving this plane I wondered what she saw at that moment when she passed and for a split second - the entire car fogged up and I couldn't see to drive. It was if she was sending me a message to show me how it looked, a radiant glow of fog. I had to pull over and wipe down the windows in order to move forward again.
As I pulled back onto the freeway, my windows cleared up, quickly as if there wasn't anything to make it fog again. I knew that moment, she was speaking to me. Letting me know that she is alright, her spirit has passed into a world that we can't see but a journey will all take.
There is nothing more special that a Mother's love....
When a spirit grows inside a Mother's womb, the bond is like no other. For the strength of their love is forever created...Native Souls.
I love you Mommie....You are dearly missed
Light & Love...